October 19, 2008
ALCS Game 7
Eeeeeeee!!!!!!! David Price is a god. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!
October 26, 2008
WS Game 4
Longoria and Pena are collectively 0 for 13000 in WS. I no longer wish for the Yankees to purchase them (see "I don't care whether he's a free agent or not," below). They aren't "clutchy" enough.
The TB bullpen is officially downgraded from box of chocolates to frightening, able to take years off your life if you invest anything in game outcomes. And don't get me started on TB rotation depth. Sea urchin Blanton, the pitcher, blasts one into the left field seats off Sonnanstine. Joba could have struck him out throwing from Nebraska with a BAC of .25. Or maybe even while unconscious in a jail cell. Mariano could have struck him out using only thought waves. With two pitches. Hell, *I* could have struck that guy out on a good day. His arms are seven inches long. He can barely hold a bat.
I am ambivalent about subjecting myself to Game 5 featuring FancyPantsy Cole Hamels on full rest. In fact, I'm not sure I want to see Cole Hamels again until he is wearing pinstripes. I don't care that he's not a free agent. That's what obscene amounts of money are for - to break the rules and stack the deck for my team. Cashman needs to get on this. FPCH would so fill a hole in our rotation. But he can't have Moose's number.
The Phillies have been through their order a few dozen times. They have loaded and re-loaded the bases more times than is mathematically possible without racking up thousands of runs. Rollins is 45 for 45 with 108 stolen bases. Ryan Howard, who has homered five times off each pitcher in this game, seems to now be doing just a tad more than protecting Chase Utley (who, mercifully, has struck out a couple of times). Oh wow, another double by Rollins. If he doesn't knock it off with the track meet, I'm going to glue so many Goldfish crackers to my screen I won't be able to watch baseball until May.
Brad Lidge is warming up. Crap. No, wait. Possibly good: they're talking about using him for more than three outs. He could explode like a fragmentation device, spewing gory entrails full of sunflower seeds all over the field. Small consolation prize, given this game, but hey.
Another homerun. I hate Moneyball for giving me hope. Phillies now a thousand runs ahead. Poor kids.
Nah, I love Moneyball. I hate fucking small sample size of WS.
The Yankees must never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever make the playoffs. I would need an MS+Klonopin drip, or perhaps an induced coma.
Fox broadcaster nugget: "The Philly bats are starting to wake up." Starting to wake up?
Okay, yet another homerun. Time to emergency recruit Buffy for the TB bullpen.
On the verge of quitting this game. I much prefer theoretical baseball to actual baseball. Sigh. (Fox broadcaster just reiterated verbatim the "starting to wake up" bats thing again. It's 10-2. Where do they get these guys?)
October 27, 2008
WS Game 5
Longoria and Pena regressing offensively. Phew. We're on the board.
Okay, so Rollins' and Werth's eighty pitch at bats, while certainly no picnic for Kazmir, in fact force Cole Hamels to **stand in the 40-degree rain** for half an hour. Ha! Pitcher Abuse Karmic Retribution. Let's see who's a mudder now.
Poor Kazmir, getting dumb-ass bad call after dumb-ass bad call, has started editorializing with facial ticks every time he shakes off a sign. Apparently didn't get the memo that the strike zone for blue teams is the size of a postage stamp. Even the batshit crazy Fox guys notice this. Gets pulled after two umpire-induced walks in favor of K/BB 1/100 Balfour. Nice.
Most excellent soggy rally before rain delay called. Literally within seconds of Fox broadcasters going on and on about how puddles will kill TB's basepath mayhem, complete with close-ups of lake accumulating around first, Upton gets a thirty second jump and steals second. Then Pena golfs him in. All tied.
October 29, 2008
WS Game 5
"Oh wow, Ryand Madsen is the second coming, Ryan Madsen is a lethal weapon, Ryan Madsen has an incredible ERA of..." BLAM. Sluggish mitochondria guy belts one against the wind into the seats. Never mind.
Interestingly, current relievers Madsen and Howell look like twin Tim Roth-Britney Spears outcrosses.
Why is Howell batting? This is the World Series. This is do or die. This is single digit number of outs to elimination. Why is he batting? Why is he batting?
How cute are the Phillies on the individual reaction shots to the final out!!!! Was getting the warm and fuzzies then Lidge has to go and thank Jesus Christ. WTF?
Poor kids. But the Phillies deserved it.
